A Father and Son Reunion

by Christine Vilar
Military.com Staff Writer March 2007

Having a servicemember for a dad might mean holidays apart during deployment or a few missed soccer games. But in the case of retired Navy Chief Petty Officer Richard Gorman and his son Christopher, a 25-year separation put their relationship to the ultimate test.

The strength of Richard and Christopher's family tie was the only thing that brought them back together -- along with Military.com's Buddy Finder. Reuniting with family and friends is especially fitting in this holiday season of giving, and Military.com is pleased to present this heartwarming tale.

A Volatile Situation

Richard, a Vietnam veteran who served on the USS Eaton, had been out of the service for seven and a half years when he met Jackie, his future wife and the mother of their son, in North Carolina. After their marriage, Richard decided to re-enlist. "I wanted more security -- financial security -- so I decided to get back in the Navy," Richard explained. He and his new wife moved to Charleston, South Carolina, where they settled and had Christopher. Living as a family was simple at first, and Sailors from the base would occasionally join them for dinner. But through this simple act of kindness, Richard's life became very complicated. One of his fellow Sailors had formed a secret romantic attachment to Jackie. Upon finding a love letter in their mailbox from the Sailor, Richard confronted Jackie about their relationship. She did not deny it. In a rage, Richard went to the base and had to be restrained from confronting his wife's admirer. The volatile situation prompted his relocation to Guantanamo Base, Cuba.

Richard left his wife and newborn son in South Carolina while he arranged for accommodations in Cuba. Christopher was only 14 months old. Housing finally came through in 1977, but by that time, Jackie had decided to move to Des Moines, taking Christopher with her. This was only the first of many moves Christopher had to experience with Jackie. "All his life, he's been pushed from place to place, seeing his mother married three times after me," Richard said.

Misinformation

During their separation, Richard and Christopher had no way of finding out about each other because of Jackie's unwillingness to give any information about the other. "She probably told him a lot of bad stuff about me, about the military, and made him think that I never paid a penny of child support," Richard said. It turns out that California Child Support Services were misinformed too.

In 1993, Richard got a call from Child Support Services. They accused him of being a "deadbeat dad" and being delinquent on child support payments. Nothing could have been further from the truth, as Richard had started a savings account for Christopher - and was more than prepared to pay whatever child support he owed. "Tell me how much I owe and I'll write you a check," Richard responded to the accusations, and he did just that. Unfortunately, their reunion was still a few years off.

Luck Be a Lady

When it finally happened, it was primarily due to the new women in Richard and Christopher's lives. Christopher married his wife Melanie in 2000, and since then they have lived in Cary, North Carolina, with their two children, Susanna Brook and Austin Devon. Melanie took the first steps to investigate Richard's whereabouts with only the tiniest piece of evidence from Jackie: a medical document from a hospital Richard was treated at in Cary, NC. Richard's name and social security number were listed on the yellowing piece of paper.

The reunited family: (From left) Susanna Brook, Debbie, Melanie, Christopher, Richard, and Austin Devon

Melanie researched many sources before finding Richard's member profile using Military.com's Buddy Finder. She contacted Military.com staff and with Richard's approval, his contact phone number was released. Christopher was a bit hesitant to make the call. He wondered if he really wanted to talk to the man that walked out on him and his mother all those years ago. Despite this, Melanie knew the call was important, if not to reunite father and son, at least to get a few answers.

On April 8th, 2004, Richard received a telephone call from his daughter-in-law, without knowing it. "Is your name Richard Gorman?" "Yes." "Were you in the Navy, stationed at Charleston Naval Base?" "Yes." "Do you have a son named Christopher?" The last question needed a bit of explanation. Richard told Melanie that he hadn't seen his son in many years, and that he didn't even know where he was or if he was okay. Melanie explained everything. "Would you like to talk to him?" The rush of information and the amount of catching up between Richard and Christopher was, of course, lengthy. They have talked every day since their first meeting.

Surprise Visit

Richard had remarried in 1985 to a woman he met during his service in the Naval Absentee Collection Unit. As mismatched as Jackie was for him, his new wife Debbie was a perfect fit, and they have been married for over 19 years. In fact, it was Debbie who brought about the first meeting of father and son when she and Richard arranged a surprise visit to Christopher on Father's Day 2004. Richard and Debbie flew from their home in Northern California to Raleigh Airport early on June 20th. As they neared Christopher and Melanie's home, which was about ten miles from the airport, Richard dialed his number. "How's your Father's Day going?" he asked his son. Christopher replied that it was going just fine. "Well it's about to get a whole lot better." Just as he said those words, Richard pulled up in Christopher's driveway and stepped out of the car. After dropping the phone, Christopher ran to his dad, their first embrace after twenty-five years.

Their next visit is scheduled for January 6th, Christopher's birthday. Since their reunion, Richard has taken care of Christopher's family the way he would have wanted to take care of Christopher all those years they spent apart. "The kid is amazing. He's a clean cut kid and I'm proud of him," Richard said. He and Debbie send care packages every now and then, filled with toys for the kids. Richard enjoys being a grandfather and spoiling his grandkids, and in talking with Military.com, it is clear that Richard cherishes his newfound family. He concludes, "I want to thank Military.com for being available to help me make my life complete again."