Off balance

[maxwell.perkins]

Hey everyone,
I almost don't know where to begin with this post. I'm 22 years old and have been a mostly A student in college for 5 years. I'll be getting a degree in physics before summer. I have about 1 more year (May 2009) for a computer engineering degree. However... I'm feeling that I need a break from college and solitary confinement to a desk, and have joined the Army. I'm in the DEP (shipping in July), going active duty infantry, and starting as E-4. Before I went home a few days ago, I was confident in my decision to join the Army and pick up with college afterwards. Then, after making it known how serious I was about it, my parents came down very hard, saying things that have thrown me off balance. They're the type that thinks the Army/military is for losers and people who don't know what to do with their lives. They said I'm doing things in reverse; people join the Army to get money for college, and I'm already in. They feel I'm throwing my life away, equating my life thus far to a growing flower, which my dad had physically in his hand and crushed it - saying that's what I've done. In short, it was a pretty bad visit to my folks this weekend. Why I'm offset is that I understand where they're coming from: They're divorced, although they've done what they could together to help my sister and I through life. College, paid for mostly by federal grants because we don't have a lot of income, was thought to be my kind of life. My mom is living alone, on SSI, and is, more sadly, confining herself to being at home and so is lonely, although we're very close and she often says that I'm all she has (my sister is around, but they're not as close). She said that if I go, it'll kill her.

Essentially, I'd just like your thoughts and opinions on this matter, positive or negative. Words of encouragement, perhaps. Advice. I'm a little torn up, and feeling I might be making a mistake. At the same time, I'm looking forward to the Army, as I've always wanted to serve, and for hundreds of reasons (before college, I was convinced out of it).

[Tacky]

You're getting one degree this year ... and could have gotten your second within a year. Yes, I'll be honest, joining the military right now was really stupid. Why not wait a year? It wouldn't kill you and the Army isn't going anywhere.

Infantry won't get you a job in the civilian world, your college education will.

Also, why did you not look into a commission?

I see where your heart is, but your common sense went out the window. I admire your choice to join and the drive you have to want to serve but you have to think things through logically before you do things like this.

If I were you, I would extend my DEP contract until I finish college. Chances are, you won't go back if you don't finish now.

[Exo1]

Max, welcome to the forum, and yes you have a predicement.. you have another year of college and I agree with Tacky, if you dont finish it now, chances are you will never... I would wait and then go in... If you can extend your contract, then do it... it would mean allot and your hard work thus far would not be in vain... As Tacky has already pointed out, theres a chance to gain a commission aswell.. this should not be overlooked..

In terms of your parents, my own experience is better then yours thus far as my mother was fearful of what would happen to me, and when my father realised I was as stubborn as he was and would not be a cop, then he supported me by shutting up.. ;)

I suppose its an individual thing, but I see you genuinely want to serve and this cannot be overlooked.. I would finished college, sign up and explain the reasons for signing up to your parents.. if they accept it, they will say so and if they dont, they will understand that you are a man now, and this is your decision.. I would check to see if you can extend your contract and continue your college to completion prior to sign up... that would be my advice.. Mom and Pops are bound to like the move too.. and army will have "career choice" written all over it under those circumstances..

[maxwell.perkins]

Thanks for replying guys.

As far as commission goes, I had to get a "serious" criminal misconduct waiver to get into the Army. My recruiter says this will make it very unlikely that I'll get a security clearance. This means I can't do military intelligence (my ASVAB is 98th percentile), which is what I wanted originally, and can't be an officer.

My decision to join right now may seem to defy common sense, but there are many good reasons and other factors why I did. One is that my head just isn't in college and the computer engineering field any more, and grades have shown that (A to F). More time and money shouldn't be wasted if that's not what I'm going to do. After the military, if there is an 'after', if I want to get back into engineering, then I'll have a reason to go back to school - not just to finish my degree, but to refresh my memory on the subject and to learn what changed in the technology field during the time I was gone.

[kmullins]

i have a college degree and am doing nothing with it, except paying the bill. if the military is what you want go for it. sure your parents are pissed, your family doesnt have a lot of money and they were hoping you'd get a nice degree and do well in the future. but life doesnt always happen the way you plan. when my husband joined his mother was pissed. mad at me to for not talking him out of it. but there are a lot worst things out there he could of been doing. eventualy she came around, but she's still not 100% with it and i dont expect her ever to be. they will either stand by you, or have nothing to do with you, and you need to be prepaired for either or. good luck with all your choices!

[Carpy]

Sounds kinda like you just need to grow up and find yourself. I went through that period after 2 years of college and dropped out even though I was getting a completely FREE education. I used it to work in the crap jobs of life (mall security, loss prevention, pizza maker/driver, tech support, valet, server, bartender, and more), support my wife through her education, and figure out what I wanted out of life. I have been in school the past 2 years finishing my degree so I can go to OCS (I've already been accepted) to become an Officer.

If you need to do that, you gotta do what you gotta do. But, if you're letting a waiver issue get in the way, you might check out an officer site that has a ton of highly experienced Officers on it. There's plenty of people who could answer questions and you could get some advice on your waiver. After reading so many threads over there I've realized that many recruiters may just say you're DQed but it may not be true. You should check it out, it's http://www.armyocs.com

Good luck on whatever decision you make.

[Nightflyer]

Stay in school...Another year will matter...**** happens all the time. It's the choices we make under pressure that determined how well we deal with them...Going into another direction for the sake of change is not always for the better....If I were you...I'd look into the military with a oped mind and try to do as much research as possibile. Ocs school? Delayed entry? You could've Looked into the Army Guard?....You can finish school with a good plan in place for your Army career afterwards.....

Good Luck....

Spc. ~ Nightflyer ~ Spec 4 Mafia
Army Aviation Air Assualt.
Black berets forever.

[Exo1]

Thanks for replying guys.

As far as commission goes, I had to get a "serious" criminal misconduct waiver to get into the Army. My recruiter says this will make it very unlikely that I'll get a security clearance. This means I can't do military intelligence (my ASVAB is 98th percentile), which is what I wanted originally, and can't be an officer.

My decision to join right now may seem to defy common sense, but there are many good reasons and other factors why I did. One is that my head just isn't in college and the computer engineering field any more, and grades have shown that (A to F). More time and money shouldn't be wasted if that's not what I'm going to do. After the military, if there is an 'after', if I want to get back into engineering, then I'll have a reason to go back to school - not just to finish my degree, but to refresh my memory on the subject and to learn what changed in the technology field during the time I was gone.

Fair points Max, if you are dead set on doing it, then I dont think your parents or any advice you get here will change your mind... The indecision seems to lie in a restless state of mind, where you dont see any point in what you are doing, and want to try other things... thats a shakey reason alone to sign up, and obviously staying in college to completion of degree would be the way to go.... but its your choice... I didnt go to college until I joined up.. and It worked out ok for me... but right or wrong, its your decision and your life.. so I reccommend taking on board all the good posts that were made, what your parents say and then coming to your own conclusions and decisions... Good Luck kid!!..

Exo..

[BAC]

Putting everything else aside, I just wanted to mention its natural and normal to go from one extreme to the other about your decision to enlist. One day you will feel like it was the best choice of your life and not question it one bit, then the next day (heck, could be hour) you will feel like you dont know if you can handle it. It okay to feel this way.

[MSG Glenn]

Putting everything else aside, I just wanted to mention its natural and normal to go from one extreme to the other about your decision to enlist. One day you will feel like it was the best choice of your life and not question it one bit, then the next day (heck, could be hour) you will feel like you dont know if you can handle it. It okay to feel this way.Usuall you get that "what did I do? - what am I doing here?" feeling about 30 seconds after you're "introduced" to your Drill SGT.

[Tacky]

Usuall you get that "what did I do? - what am I doing here?" feeling about 30 seconds after you're "introduced" to your Drill SGT.

Not as much anymore since Army BCT has gone soft and cuddly.

[Exo1]

Usuall you get that "what did I do? - what am I doing here?" feeling about 30 seconds after you're "introduced" to your Drill SGT.

lol.. indeed, but it doesnt last long as the "induction" has you launched into the training at warp speed... Im glad I made my mind up before I crossed the Barrack Gate to keep my mouth shut and head down and just do my work, cos I was so damn busy 15 minutes after reception and swearing in, next break I got (36hr pass) the original questions no longer applied.. lol....

[Exo1]

Not as much anymore since Army BCT has gone soft and cuddly.

I hear the same lullaby tunes are now played in the Irish Army Basic too...

[MSG Glenn]

Not as much anymore since Army BCT has gone soft and cuddly.
That goes for all kids. They have it a lot softer both in civilian life & in the military. Gotta wonder how soft the Air Force has gotten.

[Tacky]

That goes for all kids. They have it a lot softer both in civilian life & in the military. Gotta wonder how soft the Air Force has gotten.

Air Force actually has the most mentally draining BCT of all of the services. They aren't as physical, but they play a lot of mind games with them. AF has also made steps to increase combat training for their Airmen, so they are at least going forward while everyone else goes backwards.

[MSG Glenn]

That's good to know. My cousin's kid went AF about 3 years back & said basic was a joke.