Miserable mom

[angieolinger]

My son left for basic the end of June. He was scheduled for Ft. Leanardwood, Missouri but because of the flooding was sent to Ft. Knox. I guess he has been in basic for a few weeks now and I have received two letters from him. They are mostly discouraging and talk about how he is not happy.
I wonder if anyone else has a loved one in basic right now and how they are doing?

signed,
worried Mom

[Fireball]

My son left for basic the end of June. He was scheduled for Ft. Leanardwood, Missouri but because of the flooding was sent to Ft. Knox. I guess he has been in basic for a few weeks now and I have received two letters from him. They are mostly discouraging and talk about how he is not happy.
I wonder if anyone else has a loved one in basic right now and how they are doing?

signed,
worried Mom

That's more letters than many receive the first few weeks... so consider yourself lucky. It's a good thing they are "down in the dumps" letters... it means that one of the main purposes of basic (to break you down) is working... towards the end you'll probably hear more upbeat letters... or at least letters of a new understanding.

as I have said before on here... the worst thing you can do as a "supportive family member/friend" is to write back all worried, concerned and question all the whys... Keep your letters upbeat. Send letters to put a smile on his face - not keep him thinking about all the crap happening.

For example:
You may be tempted to say "Oh my gosh, I am so sorry you're having to go through this. I can't believe your Drill Sgt.! What a jerk. You'll get through it though."

You should say something like "I read your letter. It gives me encouragement to know how strong you really are, and that you are staying committed to your goal. I admire how very dedicated you are and I know you will work hard and rise above the what is in front of you - that's just who you are."

Don't end in "miss you" or "wish you were here" (in fact never talk about wish you were here) but rather always positive things... like "It will be so fun to see you in a few!" or "not too much longer - the time is going by fast!", "your awesome!" "I'll keep the letters coming!"

It is a given our guys are going through a hard time... they know we know it... but we need to be that stable force of positivity during the time of challenge and extreme fatigue. Stay HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY... then when they graduate you all can laugh about the pitty letters and how it took everything you had to keep on the up and up.

That's my advice... others may differ... :D Good luck...

[Txmom42]

Once again Fireball is right. Keep it upbeat. My son went through basic last summer. The first few letters were pretty pitiful. They did get better and now he plans on making the Army his career. It's absolutely amazing the changes they go through. You will be blown away! It will be OK!

[MSG Glenn]

Right now he's in culture shock. He's wondering if he's a human being or a recruit. Don't worry. His confidence will be built up to the point where he believes he's a soldier.
When he starts performing tasks he never even knew existed he'll be a new man.

[angieolinger]

thanks guys...I'm there already with the positive letters but it doesn't seem to minnimize me missing him. I remind the kid all the time that I made it through and he will be able too as well. Sometimes I even laugh when I read about the stuff he's going through... as it brings back memories but still I miss him so bad and I just wish this was all over with. His last letter talked about his blisters and than all the sudden I didn't think his letter were so humerous anymore.
It really is an emotional roller coaster for the loved ones as well as the new bees.

[Armygirl4Ever]

thanks guys...I'm there already with the positive letters but it doesn't seem to minnimize me missing him. I remind the kid all the time that I made it through and he will be able too as well. Sometimes I even laugh when I read about the stuff he's going through... as it brings back memories but still I miss him so bad and I just wish this was all over with. His last letter talked about his blisters and than all the sudden I didn't think his letter were so humerous anymore.
It really is an emotional roller coaster for the loved ones as well as the new bees.

I know he appreciates your support. I remember calling home from AIT so upset because I had the worst shin splints. My mom told me how proud she was of me and that she knew I'd be ok. Years later as I was finishing a different school in the Army she reminded me of that phone call and said she was so worried and wanted to come pick me up but knew she couldn't. It's hard to be far away when you want to take care of your babies.

[angieolinger]

Armygirl,
What you said about being far away and wanting the take care of our babies is what I am having the most problems with. Friday morning I sent my son a letter with a package of mole skin in it. The letter said how to use it and if he knew anybody that needed it to share with them and show them how to patch up their blisters.
That very same morning a new letter came from my son telling me all about his blisters for the first time. Gosh…I was just sick I didn’t get the mole skin in the mail earlier. It makes me feel helpless as a mom. I know I have to cut the strings but being prior service I kind of feel obligated to have taught him more. Oh well….at least he will get a pack of mole skin…better late than never. Anyway…thanks for your input.

[Txmom42]

How many times did I just want to jump on a plane??? But, he survived. He is still surviving. I saved all of his letters from basic to put in a scrapbook for him. When I go back and read them, it really shows how much he grew as a man in that short amount of time.

[Armygirl4Ever]

Armygirl,
What you said about being far away and wanting the take care of our babies is what I am having the most problems with. Friday morning I sent my son a letter with a package of mole skin in it. The letter said how to use it and if he knew anybody that needed it to share with them and show them how to patch up their blisters.
That very same morning a new letter came from my son telling me all about his blisters for the first time. Gosh…I was just sick I didn’t get the mole skin in the mail earlier. It makes me feel helpless as a mom. I know I have to cut the strings but being prior service I kind of feel obligated to have taught him more. Oh well….at least he will get a pack of mole skin…better late than never. Anyway…thanks for your input.

He'll be a better man for having gone this. And you will be prouder than you ever imagined. I know you're already proud and probably can't fathom being anymore prouder, but I promise, you can be:)

There are some lessons we just have to learn on our own, that's where growth comes from.

[MSG Glenn]

Try to get to as many graduations that you can.

I was at my son's Infantry School graduation at Ft. Benning (about 1000 miles from my home), missed his Airborne School & RIP graduation because they were all back-to-back from Infantry School, but made his Ranger School graduation (the most important in his thinking).

At Infantry graduation I was able to put his Blue Cord around his shoulder (a distinctive Infantry device worn around the right shoulder) & pin his Ranger Tab on his left sleeve at RS graduation. I was in my uniform & didn't think much about it at the time but he said he was so proud to have me there & his classmates talked about it & were pleased for him. They all were respectful of him since his old man was a retired E 8. He said it meant a lot to him that I came & especially since I came in uniform.

[jenny]

What a wonderful experience for you and your son Glenn not to mention memories of a lifetime!!!

[mtomom]

Man can I relate! I wanted to be on the first plane when he told me he was hurting in his legs.. But I listened to Fireball and all of the rest on this wonderful place and I got through it... Trust me the time will come when the phone calls get happier and the sound of his voice will go just about back to normal. that is when you know things are getting better for him.

By the way my son was the one when he was there that got the goodie boxes... He would call home and say hey can you send me.....Then it was I can't talk long we are going to do this or that. I tried to stay a step ahead of what I thought he would need.. Back then it was cough drops.. it was winter and everybody needed cough drops... I sent a box every week and it would have all differnet ones in it.. They started calling him the go to guy. I had to cut him off.:) ok I want to, but he is my son.... I was weak... Thank god I am not in the army!

By the time he gets home he will look diffrenet and act diffrenet. They really grow up in there. Truth is my son is the apple of my eye... I was proud of him before he went in but I am more proud of him now... He knows what he wants and he has gone after it. I just have to let him fly...

[Txmom42]

It's all true. I just sent mine back to Ft Lewis this morning. (sniff :() The whole time he was here, I just kept thinking, is it really him? When did he learn to talk like that? When did he learn to be helpful like that? When did he grow up? It's the first time in his almost 23 years of life that he was likeable the whole time. People told me the day would come, but I did't believe it. He's off to get ready for a pre-ranger(??) test the first week of August. Sorry if I got the name of the test wrong, I am bad about that. He did PT the whole time he was here, so I know he will do great!

We had a great time when he was here. Hopefully my camera guru will get her pics downloaded soon and I will post a couple.

question...because he has grown up, does that mean I have to???

[Armygirl4Ever]

question...because he has grown up, does that mean I have to???


I don't plan on growing up just cuz my kids do, lol..so I would have to say no!!:p

Good luck to your son!

[Fireball]

I don't plan on growing up just cuz my kids do, lol..so I would have to say no!!:p

Good luck to your son!

Sorry ladies... someone has to grow up... If you ask me, that's part of the problem with society now... no one wants to grow up. So you have mom's wanting to be teenagers again themselves. No reason to try and stay young - no matter what we'll eventually regress as we enter nursing homes...

[Armygirl4Ever]

Sorry ladies... someone has to grow up... If you ask me, that's part of the problem with society now... no one wants to grow up. So you have mom's wanting to be teenagers again themselves. No reason to try and stay young - no matter what we'll eventually regress as we enter nursing homes...

Nope...I'm not gonna grow up...

Although... I will say that I am a mother to my kids and not their buddy...so I do see where you are going and I agree.

[Fireball]

Nope...I'm not gonna grow up...

Although... I will say that I am a mother to my kids and not their buddy...so I do see where you are going and I agree.

Well, if you never grow up then eventually you'll be a buddy... ;) LOL

[Armygirl4Ever]

Well, if you never grow up then eventually you'll be a buddy... ;) LOL

"I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid..."

actually I don't like Toys R Us, so I guess I am grown up...darn...:D

[Txmom42]

Fine. I will grow up (actually I already did). I wouldn't want to be a teenager again for anything. However, I refuse to admit my age.

[Armygirl4Ever]

I wouldn't want to be a teenager again for anything.

LOL..me either!

[angieolinger]

Whew that was a rough couple of weeks. I'm glad it's over. I finally got that call from my son and I could tell from his voice it was going to be OK. He is getting sleep now and probably eating a little better. The boy was skinny to start with and it made me sick thinking of him always being hungary there. I'm glad the worse is over and now it's just a matter of riding out the last 4 weeks. I should've been familiar with the basic training process but when it comes to my kids I have a tendency to over-react. Good thing you guys were here and reminding me of the standard procedures the basic training people all go through. It really made it a lot easier on me. Thanks for listening.

[Fireball]

Whew that was a rough couple of weeks. I'm glad it's over. I finally got that call from my son and I could tell from his voice it was going to be OK. He is getting sleep now and probably eating a little better. The boy was skinny to start with and it made me sick thinking of him always being hungary there. I'm glad the worse is over and now it's just a matter of riding out the last 4 weeks. I should've been familiar with the basic training process but when it comes to my kids I have a tendency to over-react. Good thing you guys were here and reminding me of the standard procedures the basic training people all go through. It really made it a lot easier on me. Thanks for listening.

My husband was never hungry when he went... my aunt and uncle both GAINED weight when they went through basic (they were still fit though). He'll be great, and I am glad you're doing well! :)

[Armygirl4Ever]

Whew that was a rough couple of weeks. I'm glad it's over. I finally got that call from my son and I could tell from his voice it was going to be OK. He is getting sleep now and probably eating a little better. The boy was skinny to start with and it made me sick thinking of him always being hungary there. I'm glad the worse is over and now it's just a matter of riding out the last 4 weeks. I should've been familiar with the basic training process but when it comes to my kids I have a tendency to over-react. Good thing you guys were here and reminding me of the standard procedures the basic training people all go through. It really made it a lot easier on me. Thanks for listening.

I was always starving when I went through. Gladl things are looking up and you are feeling better!!

[Txmom42]

Whew that was a rough couple of weeks. I'm glad it's over. I finally got that call from my son and I could tell from his voice it was going to be OK. He is getting sleep now and probably eating a little better. The boy was skinny to start with and it made me sick thinking of him always being hungary there. I'm glad the worse is over and now it's just a matter of riding out the last 4 weeks. I should've been familiar with the basic training process but when it comes to my kids I have a tendency to over-react. Good thing you guys were here and reminding me of the standard procedures the basic training people all go through. It really made it a lot easier on me. Thanks for listening.

Glad to hear he is sounding better. My son never complained about being hungry, but he did lose his backside when he was there. He lost even more when he was deployed but he said it wasn't because the food was bad or in short supply, just lots of PT.

[mtomom]

You know when Michael came home he would ate everything. I know that since he has been gone, he said he doesn't eat as much. He said the food over there is not as good as it is here. But he sure is glad to to see Pizza Hut and Starbucks.. Lots of Pizza and Coffee at night.

[ArmyMom08]

:)My son left for boot camp two weeks ago. I am glad to see that I am not the only one to worry about their son. He is at Ft. Benning, Georgia. We only live about 300 miles away, but it is not easy. I have always stood behind whatever my children wanted to do. He is the last to leave home and I am having empty nest syndrome. My husband is trying to be supportive, but doesn't really know how. My son got stuck in processing for 2 weeks when he got there and didn't start his training until yesterday. I am hoping that things will get better because he said the waiting was terrible. He is homesick. He has never been away from home so this is hard for both of us. He doesn't know that this is wearing me down, and I am not sure I will tell him any time soon. I have committed to staying strong for him and hopefully keep him upbeat. It was a positive move for him, one of which, has made him more mature in the past few weeks than I have ever known him to be....I pray that your son does well and Thank you for posting your concerns. I am grateful to know I am not alone......

[Armygirl4Ever]

:)My son left for boot camp two weeks ago. I am glad to see that I am not the only one to worry about their son. He is at Ft. Benning, Georgia. We only live about 300 miles away, but it is not easy. I have always stood behind whatever my children wanted to do. He is the last to leave home and I am having empty nest syndrome. My husband is trying to be supportive, but doesn't really know how. My son got stuck in processing for 2 weeks when he got there and didn't start his training until yesterday. I am hoping that things will get better because he said the waiting was terrible. He is homesick. He has never been away from home so this is hard for both of us. He doesn't know that this is wearing me down, and I am not sure I will tell him any time soon. I have committed to staying strong for him and hopefully keep him upbeat. It was a positive move for him, one of which, has made him more mature in the past few weeks than I have ever known him to be....I pray that your son does well and Thank you for posting your concerns. I am grateful to know I am not alone......

Good luck to your son! And know you are not alone!

[Txmom42]

:)My son left for boot camp two weeks ago. I am glad to see that I am not the only one to worry about their son. He is at Ft. Benning, Georgia. We only live about 300 miles away, but it is not easy. I have always stood behind whatever my children wanted to do. He is the last to leave home and I am having empty nest syndrome. My husband is trying to be supportive, but doesn't really know how. My son got stuck in processing for 2 weeks when he got there and didn't start his training until yesterday. I am hoping that things will get better because he said the waiting was terrible. He is homesick. He has never been away from home so this is hard for both of us. He doesn't know that this is wearing me down, and I am not sure I will tell him any time soon. I have committed to staying strong for him and hopefully keep him upbeat. It was a positive move for him, one of which, has made him more mature in the past few weeks than I have ever known him to be....I pray that your son does well and Thank you for posting your concerns. I am grateful to know I am not alone......

You are not alone. My son did basic at Ft Benning last summer. HOT!!! The first few weeks were rough, but he ended up loving every minute of it. After he left he was convinced he wants to be a drill sergeant some day.

Brace yourself for the pitiful first letters and be ready to send positive, YOU CAN DO IT, letters back. He will be fine.

[Txmom42]

You know when Michael came home he would ate everything. I know that since he has been gone, he said he doesn't eat as much. He said the food over there is not as good as it is here. But he sure is glad to to see Pizza Hut and Starbucks.. Lots of Pizza and Coffee at night.

My son's was Mexican food. I wanted to have a big barbecue because he came home July 4th weekend, but he insisted on Mexican. He tried pretty hard not to eat everything in sight because he didn't want to undo all his PT. He still ended up gaining about 5 pounds while he was here. Not bad. He's always been one of those kids who would eat anything so he says the food over there was pretty good.

[ArmyMom08]

Thanks Txmom42 and Armygirl4ever. I know that it is rough for him, but as a Mom, it is rough on us. He is tough and I am sure he can handle it. I am glad this website is here for information and encouragement. Thanks again.