Additional Pay for being a married soldier?

[Polygraph]

Hi,
My new son in law is a Army National Guardsman and I care for him very much and thought he was a great guy. Trouble is this, he sends absolutely no money home to my daughter who is working three jobs to try and get ahead (her car just died and cost her a bundle). he has a new car, but since his grandmother makes the payments on it, he thinks it best if she doesn't drive it while he is gone so granny won't stop paying for it, leaving our girl with no car while I try to fix her heap. He gave his mother power of attorney before he and my daughter got married and she gives my girl nothing but grief, constantly calling her, telling her that she is the only one on his life insurance, etc.

Seems like our daughter is doing more to take care of this boy than he is his own new wife...then we heard that he actually gets paid more because he is married now! If this is true, looks like he could send his wife just the extra pay so she could get ahead. After all, I thought a man, and certainly a soldier took care of his own instead of leaving them to the wolves while they are off doing their duty. Wonder what his Commanding Officer would think about this situation? His mother is a drug addict hooked on pain killers and he is very protective of her, as he should be, but is he married to his Mom, or our daughter? Anyway, I hope he turns out to be a man and helps his new wife with his "extra" pay if in fact he is receiving any for being married.

His Granny has taken care of him his whole life and I just think he has been trained by the women around him to be taken care of instead of the other way around. His new, young bride is only eighteen and he is twenty-five and it is killing her that he never calls her, only his mom and has just left her here with nothing, while his whole check is going to his crazy mom. Somebody tell me something good about this mess as he is coming in for a week at the end of the month before leaving again for Iraq and I don't want his visit to be a huge mess just because I am trying to see that my girl is not getting the raw end of a sandy stick!

So, if anyone knows the pay rates for a E3 and the difference being married makes in pay, if any, please help us a little.

Those of you doing your duty for your country and families God Bless you, I appreciate you so much.

Polygraph

[drummerboy]

Good Day Ma'am I'm new to this site but i'am a married man as well as your son-in-law, and would just like to reassure you that YES he gets a little more in his salary for having your daughter (HIS dependant wife) as his spouse! the militery ALL branches provide a little extra income for those of us who are married, to either civilians or even military spouses, but being only an e three as you said ma'am he really doesn;t make alot either, but seeing as he's been overseas, he should be pulling just about all of his money into an allotment for himself, (an allotment ma'am for his personal needs, junk food, entertaiment, cigs if he smokes, and just general CRAP! Ha! and the REST goes home to your daughter) so it works like this, you tell your daughter to get him to detrmine an amount for himself to live on while there and she gets the rest! it'll work out!

All the best!

[CW3KAVINAL]

All soldiers are required to support their dependents. Have this soldier's wife contact his commander or 1SG and get this situation sorted. Good luck. KV

[phearless]

wow. That's all I have to say.

Ok..... I have two versions for you.... the cut-and-dry, and the sensitive. I'm not very good at sensitive when it comes to issues like this, so I'll skip that one.

Your son-in-law needs a harsh reality check. What he really needs is a swift kick in the ***, but I don't think that's going to happen. Where's his sense of duty, integrity, or selfless service? Not to mention the other four core values? If your daughter is getting no money, something is seriously wrong, and this needs swift and harsh resolving.
I'm Regular Army, an E-2, and I have a wife and two kids. I pull in nearly 3500$ a month, with BAH (which is automatic for married Active-Duty soldiers... to include deployed NG and Reserve soldiers), Family Separation, and the little bonus we get for having dependants. My wife has had access to every nickel of what I earn, and she's been very responsible with it. And, if he's deployed, he's also getting over-seas pay, and maybe even hazard pay... so, he's pulling in A LOT MORE than I am.
This kind of crap makes me sick. Especially that bit about the car. It sounds to me like your son-in-law just joined up for the college money, and the benefits. He's taking the military for a joy-ride, and your daughter is riding in the trunk.
Here's what I think. Contact his Company Commander or 1SG, and raise holy hell. Tell them that this kid is not taking care of his family. That money is supposed to be used for supporting his dependants. It sounds to me like he's blowing it all on stupid crap.... on HIMSELF. That's a form of fraud, and he can get in a whole hell of a lot of trouble for it. He deserves to be found out, and punished. He's an embarassment to the uniform.
On a further note... all that crap about his mother.... sounds like he's a mamma's boy that needs to cut the friggin cord, and grow up. I don't know how people like that make it through Basic.

I'm sorry if that sounds harsh... but, that's the truth. Your daughter deserves better, and so does the National Guard. This story of yours throws up red flags all over the place. If I'd done something like this... my father-in-law would have had my head for it. Most likely literally.
I take the military very seriously, and I believe in the Army Values, to the very core. This guy shows a complete lack of all of those values we soldiers are supposed to live by.

I'm not even getting into the fact that he's not calling her to talk. Makes me wonder what ELSE he's doing (read: "who else").
Contact his CO, or 1SG, then have your daughter draft up divorce papers. Make it hurt.... badly.

[Firefox]

Hi,
My new son in law is a Army National Guardsman and I care for him very much and thought he was a great guy. Trouble is this, he sends absolutely no money home to my daughter who is working three jobs to try and get ahead (her car just died and cost her a bundle). he has a new car, but since his grandmother makes the payments on it, he thinks it best if she doesn't drive it while he is gone so granny won't stop paying for it, leaving our girl with no car while I try to fix her heap. He gave his mother power of attorney before he and my daughter got married and she gives my girl nothing but grief, constantly calling her, telling her that she is the only one on his life insurance, etc.

Seems like our daughter is doing more to take care of this boy than he is his own new wife...then we heard that he actually gets paid more because he is married now! If this is true, looks like he could send his wife just the extra pay so she could get ahead. After all, I thought a man, and certainly a soldier took care of his own instead of leaving them to the wolves while they are off doing their duty. Wonder what his Commanding Officer would think about this situation? His mother is a drug addict hooked on pain killers and he is very protective of her, as he should be, but is he married to his Mom, or our daughter? Anyway, I hope he turns out to be a man and helps his new wife with his "extra" pay if in fact he is receiving any for being married.

His Granny has taken care of him his whole life and I just think he has been trained by the women around him to be taken care of instead of the other way around. His new, young bride is only eighteen and he is twenty-five and it is killing her that he never calls her, only his mom and has just left her here with nothing, while his whole check is going to his crazy mom. Somebody tell me something good about this mess as he is coming in for a week at the end of the month before leaving again for Iraq and I don't want his visit to be a huge mess just because I am trying to see that my girl is not getting the raw end of a sandy stick!

So, if anyone knows the pay rates for a E3 and the difference being married makes in pay, if any, please help us a little.

Those of you doing your duty for your country and families God Bless you, I appreciate you so much.

Polygraph

For one i agree with Phearles.

This matter is for you to intervene as a mother/father. your son in law has a comitment to make to you daughter you need to speak with her and let her know she needs to tlak to him. As a wife. He is making alot of money, overseas pay and hazard pay, but that is for her to discuss with him. As i think in every relastionship somthing goes wrong as you said she is only 18 years old and he is a 25 year old man (maybe).. it is expected of him. (no pun to anyone else) He is doing wrong in not paying his dutys as a husban, yes! but as i said this is a personal matter i am sorry. all i can suggest you do is talk to him but if he has a gaughter with yours. then you can press matters more.

I stongly suggest your daughter talk to him and ask what is going on. if not i think a divorce would be nice.. sorry mam/sir i canot sway more this is a personal matter in what i know nothing of..

Wish you the best in this matter.

And not because he is in the National guard is he a better man.. the man makes the uniform not the uniform the man. please remember that!

CPL Forsyth

[phearless]

thank you, Corporal. I'd stand at parade rest for ya, but I couldn't type that way, if I did.

All I ever have for someone when I give advice, is honesty. I don't like to candy-coat anything. There's no political correctness in my rulebook. Sometimes, it's harsh... but, it's always honest.

[Firefox]

thank you, Corporal. I'd stand at parade rest for ya, but I couldn't type that way, if I did.

All I ever have for someone when I give advice, is honesty. I don't like to candy-coat anything. There's no political correctness in my rulebook. Sometimes, it's harsh... but, it's always honest.


I agree phearless. and thank you id be more than glad to have you. :cool:
Candy coating is out of date. i like to give it blunt even tho it hurts sometimes.
This is the world we live in now. But i think as parents they should advise her daughter a bit better. But this is a leason in life. 18 years old and getting married its starting at such a young age now. But as i said its personal and its only advise a mother could give, and a leason a person can learn.

Good Luck!

CPL Forsyth

[phearless]

I was just thinkng.... if that were my daughter in that kind of situation.... oh, man.
I have two young daughters, and I'm fiercely protective of them. I am the wolf, and they are my cubs. Anyone ever leaves them out to dry like that.... it wouldn't be pretty. That guy would think someone called down artillery on him.

[JHerzer]

I don't understand how your daughter doesn't have access to her husband's money. I am VERY new to military life. My husband joined in January '05. He has been in basic and I have not seen him in over 2.5 months. But, we have a joint checking account, and all the money he makes is automatically deposited into that account. I don't ever need to ask for money. It's mine for the taking! (Not that I abuse that, but it's available to me) The Army always uses auto deposit. She should have him add her to his account. That's just not right. My husband gets upset with me if I pay bills I aquired in my own name before we married with "my own" money. (I work full time and feel bad using the money he earns to pay my bills because I earn money too.) She needs to set this guy straight. If he loves her (as a husband SHOULD) then it is only natural that he would want to care for her needs. Including financal. Maybe his crazy Mom is behind it. But either way, this girl needs to let her husband know what's up.

[Raynne0505]

Im in the same boat. A soldier gets a set amount of BAH for rent when he is single. It increases about $400 when he has dependents and also depends where she lives. If your daughter is getting nothing from this man (because they are seperated: he is overseas while she is at home waiting for him), she needs to go see a JAG (legal department) on Post. He is commiting BAH Fraud. This money is intended to pay for your rent, not make an extra buck. Her first step is to contact JAG and his chain of command. My husband is forcing me to go back home while he gets deployed to Iraq and he intends not to pay rent our rent "since Im not going to be living in this house". Its really sad that there are soldiers who rather make a buck then take care of thier families.

[kloey]

As previously stated, have your daughter discuss the situation with her husband. If that doesn't resolve the issue, have his wife speak with his CO. Best of luck!