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  #1  
Old 07-10-2006, 03:32 PM
Gitboxplayer Gitboxplayer is offline
Recruit
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1
Default Deadbeat soldier dads

First of all, I would like to say that I am proud off all the men and women of our military forces serving all over the world. And that I am proud to know that they are carrying on the proud military traditions and values of loyalty, duty, respect, selfless service, honor, integity and courage that I honored and strove to make the foundation of not only my military career (which was ended early due to injuries sustained in the line of duty, enough of that), but also my veteran, professional, personal and family life as well. On this note I would like to emphasize honor, integrity and family life. In particular, parental responsibility. Now I have been out for a while but, it is my understanding that all active duty soldiers receiving BAQ for child support are obligated to send those monies to the parent raising the child. And that a financially obligated parent cannot just suddenly decide to disown a child after, lets just say, approx. 10 ten years of voluntary paternal recognition and support in the form of weekend visits, child support, Christmas presents, birthday presents, meet your grandma, ect. Now, with this in mind, a soldier, and I would be willing to bet, especially a career minded senior NCO would have to acknowledge the potentially career damaging ramafications of not meeting a parental obligation/responsibility to an innocent child and struggling parent while pocketing a pay entitlement, like BAQ, i think it is, that is intended to help a soldier fulfill a parental responsibility like child support. Also, I am not sure how claiming a child on taxes that has never lived with you and/or obtaining documents like child care receipts, that one did not pay for the the purpose of tax deductions could interfere with a soldiers goals of, lets say, advancement, but I would have to guess that that type of behavior could have a detrimental effect. However, that sounds more like a civilian matter and the IRS website would probably be a more appropriate forum to address a situation like that, so I will get back to the effect of being a deadbeat father on a military career. With all this said I would greatly appreciate any comments posted concerning an issue like this. Thank you all for your time, sacrifice and service. May the powers that be bless and protect you all and your families or loved ones. By the way, for those who may have forgoten, the ARMY values are Loyalty, Duty, Respect, Selfless Service, Honor, Integrity and Personal Courage. Hooah!!!
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  #2  
Old 07-10-2006, 03:55 PM
Rock-Steady's Avatar
Rock-Steady Rock-Steady is offline
First Lieutenant
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Earth, I think
Posts: 746
Default Contact the CO and the unit Finance NCO

Try to work it out between you two one last time by putting all that stuff on paper and handing him a copy of it. If he doesn't respond, contact his unit commander and give his unit commander a copy of the complaints. Work with the commander, get to know the unit Finance NCO--he could give you buckets of info. It's never a good idea to destroy someone's career, nobody wins then, especially the kid, when resentment leads to isolation.
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  #3  
Old 07-11-2006, 09:00 PM
Tom Tom is offline
Private First Class
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 24
Default How many?

How many military wives found lovers while their husbands were deployed? How many took the kids on the other side of the country away from their fathers and did not permit the fathers to see the kids?

Loyalty should not be only for soldiers. Wives should be loyal too. At my divorce hearing 50% of the men got custody of the children. Women cannot even have loyalty to their children.

For the young and childless soldier I advise you this. Go to a sperm bank. Get a vasectomy. Then only after 20 years should you think about a family.
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  #4  
Old 10-28-2008, 11:40 AM
SSG K SSG K is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 19
Default

The good, the bad, and the ugly about said subject. There is an AR now stated in which soldier could very well be punished for not taking care of his obligations and responsibilities to family/dependants. However, that being said, for every "good," case, there is definitly a hard case. Yes, divorces envolving children are rarely pretty by any regard. Divorces in general aren't exactly the greatest either. Personally, I would also contact this soldier one last time, and attempt to work something out. However, should this prove to no avail what so ever, I would then contact his chain of command. You may want to bring with you:

-Divorce Decree in total (make a copy so you can highlight the special instructions regarding financial child support, the commander will need one probaly).
-Records of when payment stopped (assuming soldier was paying through some form of allotment) as well as a total of money currently owed to date.

If/When you have to see said commander take with you some note taking devices. Record his name and any contact information (phone number, unit, etc.) in case said commander doesn't seem to be doing anything you can talk to his boss. Please try to respectful of the people in the soldier's chain of command as it is their fault things have gone disarrey, which should ensure an amount of response based on the "crazy ex-wife went wild in my office," factor. Please excuse the analogy on that part, its the nest way I could describe it. If after some reasonable amount of time you have not seen/heard anything fortuitous in the child's favor, then I would head to the courthouse and have it go that way. From what we're being told these days, the dark ages of "hiding in the military and not paying child support," doesn't work anymore. More so if there is a bench warrent out for arrest of soldier for being the dead-beat dad. I myself am divorced and have to pay child support. Financially speaking, it hurts, more so with a new wife and oncoming child. Family speaking, it hurts even more and will take some emotional menuvering to ensure both children get ample "dad-time." I'm sure alot of people have seen this situation come from or go a myriad of ways. I hope that the child's benefit is what prevails over all.

V/R,
~SSG K
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